Please do not let me go

Gee, how original. Sunset shot for 2008's reflection.

Hey,

Sweetie. I didn't forget you. Remember I told you I think of you for the most banal everyday things? It's the same still. Like Tin Tin in this French restaurant I went to. Ephesus and Asterix. Team America. Coffee of the Day. The Economist. :) You are in my life, no matter how short our romance was or attached I am. So like it or not, swee'heart. Suck it.

Remember my journal entries that I told you about? I went through that. It's too long winded. And emotional bordering on hysterics. I'm not gonna let you go through aaaaal that torture. You know some of it. I'll expand some of it later. But here's the brief:

If somebody were to ask me what’s THE moment in 2008, I have no answer to that.

The only word that sums up my first part of the year was hedonism. And as the rule of economics points out, what goes up must eventually come down. I am not bitter over any of it – the sub prime mortgage crisis, the cancellation of advertising plans, the heartbreak. In fact it was a welcome because I was wondering when any of this fun will come to an end. When I need to review my actions and wonder what a brat I’ve become. Champagne brunches have been relegated to home-made stuff. Concerts are carefully reviewed and selected. Family needs before self interest. That kind of thing. So keeping in tradition my control organized freak style, I’ve bulleted this entry.

Money

I learnt my lesson well. Save more. No more short holidays here and there. I guess it's easy to forget yourself when you start earning more than you've ever earned. Like I'm supposed to save for my education.

Entertainment

Broken social scene was a winner. I’ve not heard much about them but owing to no (1) above, it was another one of my impulse splurge on the ticket. I’ve blogged about it. Lover’s spit was a tear jerker.

Of course Bjork and Bachelorette in Perth. “The sky is so prrrety,” she said. It was a beautiful sunset. Russet and purple streaks across the blue sky. Her marching band, her outlandish costume and her heartbreaking vocals.

Nightlife

Birthday club hop with Q and D. Three geeks out on a geek night. We were channeling MJ on the retro dance floor. You should have seen us.

Suprise

Super belated 2007 Xmas gift from Gilbert. Almost Famous DVD which took ages to come from Amazon. I appreciated the trouble he took to get this, when they don’t sell any copies here. And the fact that he knew that I will love it. So thank you my Mr G. :)

Literature

Lolita. 100 years of Solitude. Rumi’s poetry. I was on my way to his tomb in Konya when I first heard it. The valleys, the sky – everything about the setting was perfect. It was a perfect homage to his words. There was so much love and tolerance. I was humbled.

Music

Portishead and Radiohead’s latest album. The head heads.

Love/Dating

Most were forgettable. I’ve amassed national flags but it was meaningless. The memorable one being B. We had an hour long kiss at Wine Company. Nobody around. The staff left tea lights around us. It was quiet. He carried me around the square and sat me gently on the table before kissing me again. There was the night picnic he cooked dishes from his homeland and picked me up from work. My lips were swollen from all the kissing. He was full of surprises, incredibly funny and treated me well the time we were together. I laughed, and I cried because I know there’ll come a day when I’ll say, it was good while it lasted. And I was right.

Friendship

I am blessed with like minded individuals. What more can I ask for?

Regret(s)

Not being able to catch Radiohead. Not sending my parents off on a holiday but going on 6 holidays in a year. I am such a selfish girl..

Not being able to extend my flight when I was in Istanbul therefore missing an extra week of its beauty. Missing snow by 6 hours in Istanbul.

Yes Miss Tropical Sunshine has never experienced snow and I was so excited about it. :(

Holiday

Koh Phangan with Jo. Our Harold and Kumar rendition. Watching the full moon casting its reflection on the black sea from our verandah. My holiday romance. You have to understand that I was empty from all the dating and courtship. He was different. But it’ll never work and we know that. I was reduced to tears all the way from the pick up, to the ferry, airplane. So much so I had to take urgent leave the next day to continue crying my heart out. A bit silly now when I think about it. Heh. .

Turkey

There are some places that calls out to you without having been there. So much beauty, history, sorrow and passion. It was unbelievable. You've been there, I'm not sure if you feel the same. Maybe its the azan. But we'll go through that later.

Coming from a clinical white (pardon the pun) washed background, with complete disregard and shame to our forefather’s roots, I was losing more respect than I could for my birth country. I was ashamed when Singaporeans cited the reasons for visiting:

“It’s cheaper than Europe.”

“It’s more value for money.”

We are talking about the country who has seen the rise and fall of distinct civilizations – the Hellenites, the Byzantines and the Ottomans who, at the height of its power spanned three continents. I can rant on and on about their military might, architecture, tolerance. (yes, etc etc).

I was at Domalbahce palace and saw a 150 year old piano with no significance comparatively whatsoever to its surrounding. Can’t help but remark, gee this dusty piano at the corner of the room is older than my country. Well, we were not taught to be from Temasek in schools now. Everything begins from good old Stamford Raffles. But we know better. We were older than that. You know, its OK to have a humble, maybe less glamorized past. You can teach history, but you can’t force pride down our throats. I mean, look at Malaysia. Look at Thailand. Look at how divided and united they can be. Where is the passion? Everything here is soulless. Sex, Art appreciation, politics - where is it?

And I've ranted unconsciously again. I rest my case, but those who know me will know how fucking pissed off I can get with these sort of statements. How can you say its value for money? I feel so ashamed of my countrymen.

Anyway.

I fell in love with this country and I’m glad I chose this destination instead. I’ve learnt so much here than the rest of the year totaled. And I was glad the best friend was there with me. For understanding when I cried for no reason whatsoever during our trip, and for sharing the tears and laughter with me. Melodramatic as this may sound, I ushered in 2009 without my heart. I left it behind.

:(

There's more to go on but I'll spare you the agony. For now. :P

So what is your 2008's story? I want to hear all about it.

xxxxxxxxx

me